


self titled

by SpoiledSiriusly



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Mentions of Suicide, Sad, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 02:53:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10067255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpoiledSiriusly/pseuds/SpoiledSiriusly
Summary: josh had secrets





	

People had flaws, Tyler had decided. A pretty normal conclusion to come to, but not quite this late in life. He tended to have a problem with noticing flaws in others, despite being very aware of the ones in himself. He put everyone on a pedestal and automatically assumed he was less of a person, worth less, and generally not as good mas everyone.   
It wasn’t just anyone person, like an obsession, but just generally everyone. He assumed he was the only one with problems and had no reason to suspect otherwise. There was obviously something wrong with him, which he had also decided. He didn’t quite understand why he just couldn’t get happy.

Until he met Josh. 

He came in like a burning star and lit up everything in Tyler's life that until now was covered in shadows. Tyler could finally be happy again. And not to say Josh was good at it at first. For a while, it was struggles and late night phone calls with low voices convincing Tyler not to jump, that he had so much to live for. He came really close so many times, but Josh seemed to get it, and it took him a while to give him reasons. Like Josh himself didn’t have any either. 

Tyler didn’t find out he didn’t have a reason until years later. Josh had left a note, much like all of the ones Tyler himself had composed. On the very bottom, it read, “Remember sophomore year?” 

Tyler remembers. It was a bad year for him, and he thinks he spent more time on that bridge in the creek than he did in his own home. So he drives, and there's Josh standing where he did in an all too familiar position.

Tyler doesn't say anything. 

“I'm sorry.”

Josh spoke, quietly, the wind almost blocking the sound entirely. 

“What for?” 

“I feel like - I feel like I betrayed you. All this time I was helping you and you told me everything, we had no secrets except this.” 

Josh pulled up his shirt sleeves to reveal bloody battered and scarred skin. It was so bad, like the images when you search it up, and so much worse than Tyler's had ever gotten. 

Tyler inhaled a sharp breath. 

He had never noticed, never even suspected that Josh would do this. Even after reading his suicide note.

“As I was talking the blade out of your hands mine were picking it up.” 

It's strangely poetic, sad and melancholy. Tyler knows now Josh won't jump. He doesn't have the guts. 

(It sounds so much meaner than me means it.)

“It was so hard at first, you know? You were like me and I wanted to help, but as I taught you to swim I was drowning.” 

He's talking like it's a confessional but Tyler knows these aren't his last words. 

“And it was so hard to convince you to put the blade away, or to get off the bridge because I honestly didn't have a reason either. But I stayed and I made a reason- Tyler you are my reason.” 

Josh began to climb down. 

At the bottom, Tyler pulled him into a hug. 

“I'm sorry.” This time, it was Tyler. 

Josh sighed. 

“It's not your fault.” 

They both know that, but hearing it doesn't make it any more real. They know it's neither of their faults, but that doesn't make them realize, really. 

Their own mortality scares them as they get in the car and drive home. 

Humans have flaws, and no one knows that better than Josh Dun and Tyler Joseph.

**Author's Note:**

> |-/ stay alive


End file.
